Craters of the Moon...

 I once heard Judy Garland is the mother of Liza Minnelli. It happened to be true, and cost me a favorable sum. I couldn't quite grasp why the poor girl would ever leave OZ. I guess out-of-season times were not as promising...

 As opposed to writing the year we graduated on our mountain (or hill as it was), my friends and I manicured a giant penis. Along with the words "SWEATY BALL SACK" in their respective positions. The next day at school, every car arriving to the campus from either direction was privy to the amazing artwork. 

My Own Private...

 "I once had a dog, who ran from his home. But that wasn't even close, to your cold heart of stone."            

       - Frank Black